(to the tune of the Eagle's "Hotel California")

(Music and lyrics: Glenn Frey and Don Henley ... with help from Alex)

On the New Jersey Parkway
To Melanie's lair
The acrid smell of sulfur
Wafting up through the air
Up ahead was a tract house
I saw a terrible sight
There were six cats and four children there
But still we stopped for the night
There she stood in the doorway
Our ambulatory smile
She opened her arms wide and let us in
And we were blown away by-y her smile
Then she lit up some candles
Introduced us around
There were people there we hadn't met
And they set this down:

Welcome to the Hotel Castle Tierney
Pull a sofa up (Pull a sofa up)
Let me fill your cup
There's plenty of room at the Hotel Castle Tierney
Don't you mind the cats (Don't you mind the cats)
Or my little brats ...

Bob makes some Callebaut truffles
And Lincoln brings his stew
Everyone was pretty, pretty drunk
And soon so were you
How they trade off the straight lines
Laughter abounds
Some jokes you'll remember
Some just aren't allowed
We were called up by Erin
Drunk on some wine
And then
The new tattoo on Carol's foot said: "Copyright '65"
And still our Alma is on the phone far away
When we called her in the middle of the night
She could hear us say:

Welcome to the Hotel Castle Tierney
Have a foot massage (Have a foot massage)
Sleep in the garage
We're Wrevolting here at the Hotel Castle Tierney
It was a nice surprise (It was a nice surprise)
To get to see you guys

But the time came for leaving
Bad though that may have been
And we said
We have to do this again
This stuff's fun as sin
And in the house's foyer
We all had to go back to work
But we called out (to deceive)
Last thing I remember
I was heading through the door
I knew that I had to get back
Though I wanted to-oo stay more
Ralax, Melanie said
We will do this all again
You might check out but you'll soon be back
Faster than you believe
(guitar solo)